I have been putting this one off for a long time. For no other reason than There is so much to cram into it. A small books worth rather than a post. Macca covered it nicely so I’ll try and work in tandem to fill some gaps.
synopsis: 8 men in a caravan, bikes, meat, beer, banter and oban on our doorstep.
Now some of these men were french…5 of them to be precise. This plays a big part in the story. My english is pretty bad but my french would make del boy blush. We headed off from Glasgow bright and early to get the train to Oban. I was the only one taking my bike the rest were hiring theres at Oban. Train ride up is brilliant, took about 3 hours to get to Oban but the scenery is a great introduction to Scotland for some of the french that had never been before.
Arrival In Oban, found the bike shop where Christerry arrived…travelling from dundee with a car and bike attached to back his car indeed was a blessing in disguise. The Guy at the bike shop was very helpful and filled our ordinance survey up with good bike routes but more importantly pubs and good places to eat. Instantly a cycling holiday was made…didn’t even catch his name…let’s call him jeff.
Was here we chucked all our big heavy bags in Christerrys motor then headed off in the wrong direction to find the campsite. Found it eventually.A great wee cycle run that hugged the coast…nice easy road to cycle on. It would be this road we’d be cycling everyday to the pub and shops. Although Christerrys car did come in very handy.
Upon Arrival to the Campsite we found our caravan and were instantly turned to giggling children picking rooms and checking all the cupboards, maybe it was just me. There was the fear that as it only slept 8 it would be a bit of a squeeze…oh no it wasn’t it was huge. I had the foresight to send Christerry up ahead as driver and score us a good room. Not sure if he did, I didn’t fit on the bed…dunno if anyone else did. It was a pretty tall holiday in fairness. Me and christerry buddied up as the hobbits. Can I just now applaud Christerrys bed time banter…brilliant. There was so Much hilarious banter constantly but to laugh yourself to sleep everynight…hilarious…that was until macca introduced “whisper time” boooooo.
Day one seen macca and Christerry head off to get supplies in the motor…my word did they do well. Not only did they get a bbq (which had to be built, but they just swiped the already built display one…genius) they somehow rummaged through the reduced section and found a chunk of roast beef reduced from £10 to 10p…genius. Lots of beer and beef later we all knew it was going to be a magic holiday.
Next day cycling into town where we locked up the bikes outside the train station then went on a distillery tour. Brilliant fun…got some samples and bought a bottle for our EU caravan. Was from here on the way home we thought we would use our map and head for the big hill. Got a bit lost in all honesty but got there in the end. At the sumit we all swigged some whisky. I’m not a fan of whisky…on the tour, i did stuggle with the sample…at the summit however. Bit knackered sweating can’t really stand…it was just the job.
Nest Instalment of cycling randomness was kerrera a small island oppisite our campsite. A wee ferry goes back and forth for £6 return. Just a wee flatbed that could take a car at a push. Bikes on then off for adventure. The Island itself had 2 main cycle routes. Red and Green, we took red up to Gylen Castle. What a place that was…amazing. Ditched the bikes and walked round the cliffs. Loved it…was just like a mini stonehaven (yes everything will always be compaired to stonehaven). The cycle run ended with a massive downhill that got us straight back to the ferry. A great day out. The island also had a seal colony…but we never ventured to the green side.
Wednesday was the big cycle. Started off with main roads up to Connel Bridge to get some top scran from the glue pot. A nice wee local. Hanging outside above the door was a gluepot…can’t remember the relevance of it although once inside we found out it was unlucky not to touch it on the way in…good to find out…ONCE YOU’RE IN!
No bad luck fortunately but we did go up to Dunstaffnage Castle…which was pretty crap…they charged to get in…instant dislike…i didn’t even take a picture of it…that’s how much of a disappointment it was.From here we crossed the rail tracks and ventured into the hills back to Oban. Great fun. Loads of ups and downs and different track to cycle on. Another great downhill into Oban which ended with me cycling through a tree. Hilarious. Back to Caravan for more meat and beer ofcourse.
Thursday the group split…We stole one frenchmen but all the other french insisted on cycling nearly double what what we did the day before…nutters. We caved and cycled to the pub to sit and read newspapers and drink cider. Back to Campsite for some pier fishing and a little dip in the see….damn it be cold and salty round those parts…this i realise is pretty obvious to most but it was a beautiful day.
The others arrived only to sit for a while have a few beers then get back on the horse and head back into town for another night out…hardcore. Was here we stubled upon Barbera…our distillery tour guide…she got talking to us and told us a few good places to go…onwards we went only to discover…everywhere had shut up shop….doh. No worries she says…my folks are away lets go back to mine. Ok we say…don’t need a taxi our means of transport is locked up outside the trainstation. Bingo..10 people, 8 bikes and 1 light cycling in the dark about 3 miles up the coast. Hilarious. Eventually arrive to end up dancing (to wizards, i wish it could be christmas everyday) in a relatively random girls kitchen whilst drinking all her mum and dads wine. Brilliant fun, amazing banter. Eventually me and benoir headed home…about 4am I think so about 7 miles to cycle home…100ft into the journey…roughly at the bottom of the hill benoir slams his brakes on and goes over his handle bars…then laughs on impact…magic. 7 miles later in the rain as the suns coming up we get home….a good bit soberer than we were before we left.
If you’ve made it this far well done…sorry this is so massive. Some essays i wrote at school weren’t as big as this. We’re nearly there. Next day was a bit of a lazy one. Christerry drove us into town where we found an amazing wee cafe that did nothing but roast meats. Chicken, beef and lamb in big filthy sandwiches or with all the trimmings. Just the job. Pottered about in town going from coffee to coffee. Eventually headed back to the others who had just flopped all day but needed food. Not ones for getting back on the bikes we decided to get a couple of taxis. Oban is a small place…very small. Word had got out that a load of french invaders had taken to cycling at xam completely pissed…the police knew but thought it was funny cause they were french and also everyone knew we’d been to barbaras house. Hilarious it was outside the pub we received a phonecall (the bar staff brought us their phone and told us a jenny wanted to speak to us) another nightout was arranged then off to another pub for dancing and drinking. This pub contained the contents of the pink bus in our campsite…turns out it’s a gay bus full of swedish people on tour…they liked to dance…we got on very well…not that well. A taxi home at xam again where we told the taxi driver we’d been cycling it pissed in the dark proceeded to switch his lights off and drive us there…not so clever…didn’t die though…all good.
Saturday We returned the bikes very lazily, And it was from here me and Christerry parted ways. The remainders took train back to Glasgow for another nightout…harcore. Whilst i went back to dundee with Christerry then went back to the home comforts of Ma and Pa and to get my washing done. There are literally hundreds of hilarious things that happened…one of which was fishing and catching a pineapple…exactly…alot of stuff equally as funny…but look at the size of this…it’s just silly now. Amazing holiday, amazing company but most important of all…amazing meat 
