Last night me and macca partook? in wee bit of tuesday night gigage. Great fun…good Alan Partridge like dancing. Support from Matthew dear which was also very good. Lots of filthy food and cheap beer…all in all another classic. To follow shortly the 5 stages of gig dancing…

I challenge anyone to spend 50p better than this…suppose I better buy a record player now then…what a fine start to my record collection.

Lunch today was a venture down to somerfield which I think translates in some language as “land of the cheap”. Got some pork pies cause every man needs a meaty snack, when my eyes wandered over this. A wee sticker saying…”guarenteed to make you smile or your money back”. I love these things. Inside the wee sticker It says this:

“Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?

A. Ugly sheep

Go on, admit it!! The joke made you smile! Well if it didn’t, then see if this Pork Pie will put a smile on your face”

Also underneath was instructions that if you were not satisfied to write a letter in no less than 15 words with the receipt attached to it, and also the address. So It’s game on people. This baby is good to go. I need exactly 15 words of whatever you want, to see how obscure a reason we can give to getting a full refund. Then once we have the full refund we’ll just do it again…

my efforts

“hello. your joke was pretty awful, it actually ruined the whole experience. want money back!”

or

“pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies! pies!”

It’s Craft night in the Johnson/Lofthouse residence. I got Eliza a making stuff for kids book. As she’s aiming to be a primary school teacher we have loads of art goodies. You name it…sparkly glue, sequins , white glue and pipe cleaners. So I got some more supplies in (some felt sheets and some split peas for filling). MY NAMES ROBERT JOHNSON AND I LOVE TO SEW. There…I’ve said it. Phew. We decided to pick a random from elizas book…

All this was done inkeeping with valentines day to the sounds of barry white…oh yeah

On a recent visit to stansted airport I stumbled on this little beauty. Some one thought this was a great name for a juice bar. Don’t get me wrong…I to love juice, but there is something slightly unsettling about seeing it as one word, and without the “I”. Also today someone had put there whole bed out for the bin today…maybe celebrating valentines day a little over enthusiastically. Also LoveJam is a much funnier term.

For some reason all of last night and most of this morning, a john carpenter like fog crept around our flat…only to discover this morning that when you popped on the tube for 5 mins that it was actually sunny (except for a night of course, it just wasn’t foggy)

First of all if you’ve not read anything by Dave Gorman shame on you. Once again some pub banter has stirred up some stupid bets. This weekend or asap I set the challenge to lee (who frequents the pub maybe a little bit more than he actually should) that he couldn’t find a googlewhack before me. If you don’t know what they are i’ll give you quick run down. 2 words into google with only one result…like so I grabbed this one off the whackstack. The words must exsist and be underlined. Sounds easy…and it might be I haven’t actually tried. But whoever gets their name added to that whackstack first, parts with £5. All the rules are here. the floor is open…good luck.

Having only recently switched on my blog stats after about a year and a half without. I’ve found it quite addictive. This is todays search terms. Think I might have to watch some of the tags and terms I use on my blog. Fat animals is a consistant favourite everyday without fail that one shows up. Love toys however!? I can only imagine the disappointment of ending up here. Woman, + dirty : that’s even funnier because if they clicked through, the first thing they would see is Eliza! ha. I have no idea what a no colour monkey is but my blog has one apparently.

Is rubbish. Me and Macca went out for a lunchtime wander. I for the first time in years felt the need to buy a cd (yes an actual cd). I had a list of albums I wanted to buy and had seen them online but thought i’d go old skool and go to a record shop. They’re rubbish. Actual shopping is hard work. We ventured to zavvi first…it really is an awful experience, possibly the worst one i’ve ever had. Cd’s randomly scattered over 4 floors with seemingly made up sections…like old favourites, for him, fluffy girls stuff, music to clean your house to…rubbish. I am a bit hungover today which didn’t help. Went to HMV too..as rubbish. no joy. So that’s it I’ve given up on actual shopping…

Well it’s happened, the moment every man fears (No Bros have not reformed). The pair of jeans you wear every day for the past 4 years finally give in. They’re practically hanging off me. Now I have to go through the ordeal of shopping. I’ve even tried the really old man thing of finding exactly the same pair. No Joy. A sad day indeed. This means weeks of trying stuff on…or more than likely just walking into shops and saying “I can’t be assed today” then walking straight out.